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How Do We Forgive When the Hurt is So Bad? — 1/21/2025 10:00 AM
Today's speaker is Dr. Phillip Hamm, Senior Pastor at First Baptist Church of Palmetto in Palmetto, FL. Dr. Hamm shows us from the Book of Philemon how forgiveness is possible in Christ.
Notes
Forgiveness: A Process of Letting Go and Charging It to Jesus' Account
In life, we all encounter hurt, whether from betrayal, loss, or deep, emotional wounds. In those moments, it’s easy to wish that forgiveness was simple and that a heartfelt “I’m sorry” could immediately heal the pain. But as many of us know, forgiveness is rarely that straightforward. The reality is that wounds leave lasting scars, and the debts others owe us — whether from words, actions, or neglect — are not so easily paid. So, how do we forgive when the hurt seems too great to bear?
A powerful example of forgiveness can be found in the book of Philemon. This short letter in the New Testament tells the story of Onesimus, a runaway slave who stole from his master, Philemon. Onesimus met the apostle Paul and became a Christian. Paul, recognizing the pain caused by Onesimus’s actions, encouraged him to return to Philemon and seek forgiveness. Paul went a step further, offering to pay the debt Onesimus owed (Philemon 1:18). In essence, Paul told Philemon: “Charge it to my account.”
This story is a poignant reminder that forgiveness is not about simply excusing the wrong. It’s about acknowledging the debt and choosing to release it because someone else is willing to pay it.
In this passage, we see three key points that can guide us toward true forgiveness:
Forgiveness Is a Process
Paul’s willingness to “charge” Onesimus’s debt to his own account illustrates a crucial point: Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision. When we experience hurt, we often find ourselves revisiting the pain over and over again. Each time we do, we’re faced with a choice: to hold on to bitterness or to let go. Forgiveness is an ongoing process, and we must continually choose to release the debt.
Jesus Has Already Paid the Debt
Just as Paul took on Onesimus’s debt, Jesus has taken on our sins and the emotional debts others owe us. In Colossians 2:14, Paul writes, “He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.” The debt has been paid in full. This truth gives us the strength to forgive because we recognize that Jesus has already taken the burden of our pain.
Charging It to Jesus’ Account
The most powerful part of forgiveness is the decision to “charge it” to someone else’s account. When we feel anger, bitterness, or hurt rise up, we can consciously choose to charge those feelings to Jesus. He paid the debt, and it’s by His grace that we can let go of our right to retaliate. This act of releasing the hurt is a continual one, and with each moment, we experience the freedom that comes from forgiving.
Action Steps:
- Acknowledge the Debt: Reflect on the wounds others have caused you. What emotional or spiritual debts do they owe you?
- Remember Jesus’ Sacrifice: When struggling with unforgiveness, remind yourself that Jesus has already paid the price for those wrongs.
- Charge It to Jesus’ Account: Each time you feel the weight of bitterness or anger; choose to let go by “charging” the debt to Jesus. Trust that He has already covered it.
- Forgiveness is not easy. It’s a process that requires grace and persistence. But as we allow Jesus to take on the debts of our hurts, we experience true freedom — a freedom to forgive, heal, and move forward.
Key Verse: “Charge it to my account.” – Philemon 1:18